My last day of work, possibly ever. Should be celebratory. Yield a sense of closure. Generate excitement.
It was a horrible day. I hadn’t slept well and so was fatigued. I wanted to wrap up all my tasks and effectively transfer the others to co-worker Emily. I wanted to leave everything in good shape as I would not be allowed to work after going on disability. Add to that the need to pack for the beach and leave early in the morning on the long drive to the North Carolina coast. I am always apprehensive right before a trip. Anxiety gripped me in its fist.
I glued my brain to my computer as best I could, grinding away on my work, hoping to finish. Today being a Friday in the middle of summer, people were leaving early. By the time I finally finished what I could, it was after 5:00 and not one of my co-workers was there to bid me happy disability or even happy beach week. I walked through the nearly empty building and through the nearly empty parking garage to my car, feeling alone and hollow. This is the way my career ends, not with a bang but a whimper.