I now doubt my ability to walk two miles or even one. My liver failed, I had no white blood cells, I had a fever and a bad case of thrush, preventing me from eating or drinking. My oncologist sent me to the hospital, where I remained six nights.

I went home on hospice care. Much more could be said, both good and bad, about the past month, but I am tired. I have little energy for replies to email, for instance, and even less energy for visitors.

I don’t know how long I’ve got–a few weeks? Days? I use a walker, with assistance. To get around the house.

The book should still be published, though it may take a while.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, meals, and the many other ways you have loved us. God’s blessings on you all.

Two miles, even with jaundice and highest PSA ever

Like Prufrock, I measure out my life with spoons. This morning I wondered if I had enough spoons to walk Sir Gibbie two miles and have any spoons left for the rest of the weekend. I also wondered if I could still walk two miles, something I haven’t done in weeks, since before my liver enzymes blew up at the end of May. Could I, one who for the past two weeks has mainly imitated a patient etherized upon a table, walk two miles through my yellow fog of fatigue? Continue reading “Two miles, even with jaundice and highest PSA ever”

Clinical expotitions, part 2

My second clinical expotition was more fruitful than the one last month. Short summary: I’m now signed up for a clinical trial in New York City at Weill Cornell Medicine. If all goes as planned, I will return to NY in a couple of weeks for scans, a bone biopsy and then the treatment. The trial consists of a single treatment with 225Ac-J591, followed by a raft of return visits to see how I’m doing. It’s the first trial anywhere of this drug, and the drug itself is made at Cornell. The trial has had good results thus far, so I am hopeful it will work well for me. Working well means I get another reprieve, as I have for the past 1.5 years on Keytruda. Continue reading “Clinical expotitions, part 2”